white chocolate chip blueberry oatmeal cookies + getting closer to fine

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I’m awed by all the ways in which my loved ones have a way of bringing clarity into my life. Lately, it feels as if I’ve been trapped in a kind of professional purgatory, come undone by the sheer number of things I can do yet feeling uncertain what it is I want to do. It’s nearly been a year since I left a job that was killing me, a place where I felt sonnet small, a time when I was frightened by the kind of woman I was becoming. In a way, I still blame myself for Sophie’s death, simply for the reason that I wasn’t completely present in my life as I was living it. I was living an outline of a life, but one that never came into focus. So I gave myself the gift of time, the great equalizer, and I became itinerant.

A year later I have a clear picture of what I don’t want to do {work in agency, work at a place that threatens to pull me away from my more creative pursuits} and a clearer shape of what I want {flexibility in my schedule, freedom to focus on my healthy and well-being, time to read, think, and create} but the job part of it, the work, still seems innocuous.

Until a dear friend, one who always seems to save me when I need it, reminded me that I’m the sort of person who loves to obsess over the things she loves, the kind of person who is happy to dive into the deep than tread the surface. If given the chance, I’d swim 16 feet underwater instead of cutting my way across a river. I love creating and building, yet have little patience for the details of execution and the politicking of an office environment.

We spoke for a while and batted around a few ideas {as I was baking these divine cookies pictured here}, and suddenly my life seemed to come into focus. Nothing definitive mind you, and I still have to pay the bills, mind you, but I’m getting closer.

Visit Clara Persis’ space for the skinny on these perfect White Chocolate Chip Blueberry Oatmeal Cookies.

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