comodo, take two; grace, take one

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

Lately I’ve been thinking about grace. Those who have it, those who don’t, and what it means to be the kind of person who is brave, strong, rising above the fray. One who orbits around stillness. I’ve long admired those who always seem to handle heartbreak and loss with a dignity that’s often difficult for me to describe. It makes me think of the kind of parent I never had but wish I did. The stalwart mother bandaging wounds, whispering the dark hours away. The mother who tells you stories where the greatest tragedy is the loss of a mitten. The mother who closes your eyes with her kiss — her skin like cashmere — and tells you that everything will always, always, be fine.

I long for a constant state of grace, a semblance of calm amidst the chaos, and to this end I’ve started with a daily intention. Mornings I wake and wonder how I can exude grace in how I talk to people {devices down, eye contact, a sincerity and a compassion for what they’re saying and how they say it}, manage myself in difficult spaces {breathe, breathe, breathe} and how I mentor and care about others {deliver the perspective that comes with age, listen, provide rationality and simple solutions}.

Today I took a long lunch at Comodo with a coworker whom I adore. Her blooming has been a magical thing to see, and I’m trying to be that proverbial professional parent in her life, even though I’m leaving my role in the near future. I tell her that I will always be in her life, always in her heart, and relationships never end they just bloom if harvested.


2 thoughts on “comodo, take two; grace, take one

  1. What a lovely post. It was a pleasure sharing a meal with you at Sunday Suppers. I look forward to reading and exploring more of your blog. And just in case you’re not sure ~ I am the one without the smart phone. : )


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